A SEASONAL LETTER
Well it’s been another busy and successful year here at the Ward camper.
I have lived life renunciating not only the pleasures of the flesh but all manner of consumer goods. There has been no profligate spending for us during 2012. Not, I beg you to understand, because of any financial restraints. I am very proud of my carbon footprint this year and it has induced in me a higher level of smugness that I have ever experienced before.
I didn’t get published in The National Geographic this year. I objected to their demand that I travel first class by commercial airline and then private helicopter to remote places just to get to take a picture or two. Staying in expensive hotels at the company’s expense was also at odds with my avowed intention to live the life of an anchorite. I am very much afraid that The National Geographic’s loss was my gain.
I did consider a plea from the National Trust to contribute to their calendar yet again! After much soul searching I decided that a picture or two in the East Byker Gazette would be ecologically preferable. They print on recycled, non glossy paper . It is then re employed as wrapping for take away food. Finally it is used as a fundament polisher. A truly green or possibly brown publication.
Alfie is doing very well and despite losing a demanding position as an executive Rat Catcher he bounced back and is now gainfully employed as a tree waterrier.
Molly has gone from strength to strength this year, her Open University course in Canine Philosophy is proving to raise few, if any, problems…….I would go so far as to state that she is not walking it but sleeping it.
Though it will be difficult to surpass this year’s achievements I am sure that the next year in the Ward Vanhold will prove to be equally satisfying, successful and exciting. Of course there will be problems. Here we prefer to embrace challenges and revel in the opportunities they present. I feel it a pity that more of you don’t share our attitude.
We would like to wish all you less accomplished people the very best of luck in achieving a semblance of success with your inadequate and miserable lives during twenty thirteen or as we prefer to call it MMXIII.
Yours with best wishes and our heads firmly embedded up our arses, (We favour the word fundaments to arses). We don’t patronise here in truck land, you take your pick,
Adrian, Molly and Alfie.
I have been out this morning and just to prove I have another opportunity here are the first results from the Canon in HDR…..
Enjoy Boxing Day. If you are out irritating foxes then I pray it rains on you.
PS. For those that are out dressed in Pink for the first time remember that on sighting a fox the call is Tally Ho!….under no circumstances is bellowing “After the Little Brown Bastard!” considered acceptable. Slaughtering wild creatures must be conducted with the decorum befitting of a gentleman or gentlewoman.