It’s a hundred miles from Oban to the central Highlands. There isn’t much choice of road from Oban so I took the only choice The A828. It was fine if a bit slushy and it doesn’t go up and down hill very much. After the Connel bridge I caught up with a timber truck. They are usually as fast as a Lotus. On the next bend I saw the problem a RAV4 doing 25mph. He went past it a couple of miles later with his air horns a blasting I was about to follow him when the RAV slammed his brakes on. My reactions aren’t what they were but it was the merest of kisses or pecks. No damage whatsoever to mine or his. It turned out he was a Cloggie and had never seen snow. I thought he was a lying Dutch bastard so invited him to report it. I took him for a wimp. I said remember if you restrict the movement and free flow of traffic in Scotland then they take away your car and crush it. It turned out that the poor mite had only driven for a month and was on his honeymoon. I said it’s hard driving in six inches of slush. Where are you heading. We are trying to get to Fort William. I said follow me but not too close 50mph is good as it is difficult weather.
We got to Fort William and at the first roundabout I popped my hazards on and gave him a thumbs up out of the window. He followed me down the wee bypass and into Morrison's car park. They followed me round Morrison’s I could have done with following her. Drop dead gorgeous she was. Far too young and only a week married. I nearly forgot to buy milk and cheese. They followed me to the check out. I checked my chicken crown, bread, milk, cheese and veg. I was going to get a bottle of Campanology but the buggers put the price up after Christmas and I hate being ripped off. As I was waiting in line at the fag counter while the three daft biddies in front were checking what seemed to be a years worth of crumpled lottery tickets. He came up with a bottle of Maclannan gave it me and said thank you. I tried not to accept this gift but not too hard. He said is MacDonalds the same. I assured him it was so he said we’ll take you for a BIGMac. I insisted on paying. I did get a doggy bag for the most of it I couldn’t eat. Off they went for some skiing in Scotland.
I never made the Cairngorms. I left Fort William and got as far as Spean Bridge. Two police cars and a daft sign they had found saying HAZARD. I slid the widow open , had a chat. He said that due to the inclement weather it looked as if the A9 may be closed. But we have another incident on the A82. I asked which was worse. I’m afraid i can’t divulge that information Sir. That’s police speak for I don’t know.I decided on the A82. A two hour wait while they sorted an Audi from the front of a bus.