I live in a camper van with a West Highland Terrier for company.
My passion is creating images but it is a work in progress.
I am always willing to share what knowledge I have and can be contacted through the comments on this post or e-mail ADRIAN

Sunday 30 September 2012


These two words have opposite meanings…..I love playing with similar sounding words. My favourite pair are oscillation and osculation. This is going to be an esoteric post. Esoteric means understood by a few….bear with me as the subject today is so esoteric it fails to include your host. I’m going to stop using these Eso and Exo words before I get them muddled up.

About a year ago I fell upon hard times and sold all my Olympus gear with the exception of an old E-3 and a prime 25mm lens.

As I’ve mentioned before finance should be available soon to allow me to get some decent equipment. I love editing stills….I hate editing video. I want a still camera. I want a Canon DSLR. I want a water tight one. So I’ll get an older top end model second  hand with three lenses. I’m also convinced that a view camera would provide endless entertainment. I love the look and build of this one. the Ebony RSW. Seems just right for a beginner. I also know someone who can’t work the one he has. Bit of a dumb cluck he is.

_mg_6935_1      If anyone wants to know more about it then go to ROBERT WHITE. It  is a basic large format camera. The rear standard, that's the bit where the film goes and the bit where one composes the image doesn’t move except fore and aft for fine focus adjustment. The front has no swing but it will shuffle up and down and tilt.  Posh light box is what it is.

I then started further research….ain’t T’internet a wonderful thing……No, it is bloody annoying. I found this little gem of a medium format camera…….

alpa_swa_190     This is it……Doesn’t look much, Doesn’t even give tilt. It’s ever so light though. It costs a paltry couple of grand.

get it usable like this…..

ALPA_swa_36_w (1)    And you quadruple the cost. The bloody handles are the thick end of eight hundred pounds a film back is almost a grand. It is drop dead gorgeous though. They are available through LINHOFF. Again think bottomless pit. None of this equipment comes cheap. All these cameras use Schneider or Rodenstock lenses. They do them in digital or analogue versions….Wowee! Thank God!… I’ll get one of each. What’s the odd ten grand here or there. Forget the digital bit I’m a realistic dreamer…..The digital back for this camera is almost forty thousand pounds it’s the Phase One IQ 180. It can spot a freckle at a thousand yards. The film backs for 120 and 220 are a mere thousand pounds. One would think that they could give two settings on the pressure plate for nine hundred odd quid. No they can’t this is pure esoteritamism. It’s dream world.

So to sum up. I keep my snappy happy camera, re purchase Posh Canon gear for every day.  Hire a Sherpa for large format gear carrying, Buy an Alpa medium format cos it is drop dead gorgeous, Buy a Land Rover to cut down on the walking. Hire two helicopters to ferry gear in and out from where the land Rover stops.  Hire two fit totty to advise on light levels…..Then I’ll miss the shot lusting after the assistants..Forget the latter. I‘ll guess as I used to. Film is forgiving with a ten to twelve stop dynamic range. Could always snap with the Canon and use the exposure settings.

I’ll go now I have woken from Esoteric……I suspect the fit assistants are more Exoteric. No matter it is only a dream.

Additional mega money would be required to show off the fruits of my labour……Seriously for a minute…..you still have a minute that is……look at big prints taken with big gear by big photographers and they are wonderful. The Internet does not do them any favours.

Have a wonderful week.

It’s a damn good job I’m broke but on a rainy day it’s good to dream.

Saturday 29 September 2012

IS IT ME? (29/09/12)

There are only two snaps today. One from yesterday afternoon and one from first thing this morning. I’ll get them out of the way..

P9284149_50_51_52_53_tonemapped_edited-1 Tree and Grass…… with a bit of… Gentle? Photoshopping and Photomaxing.

P9294154_5_6_7_8_tonemapped_edited-2 Tranquil Floodwater. I’ll miss the floods when they go. I haven’t a long lens at the moment but these paddy fields are providing a temporary home to gulls, lapwing and a small flock of sandpipers….I think, not sure about the latter and less sure about what they are finding to eat.

There has been little to laugh at in the news.

Jeremy Forrest and Megan whatever she’s called have been apprehended in France.  It’s a good job she’s okay….. Jeremy must be a saint….. How he’s managed to spend a week with a teenager without throttling her is beyond my comprehension. She is being sent home and he is being ‘Held under suspicion of child abduction’. Bloody amazing, I love the suspicion bit. I only have to park outside the newsagents for a couple of minutes and I’m presumed guilty and fined sixty pounds. He runs off with a minor and is only suspected of a crime.

A member of parliament is suggesting that MPs should be allowed to job share…..We are already inundated with the buggers who precious few of us vote for. Why do we need more? If she can’t find a couple of hours a week to MP then just resign. The world is going to pot.

Talking of pot, apparently cannabis usage is declining. I wonder how they know? It reminds me of a piece in Private Eye years ago. They reported that a Mr X had been caught in possession of a quantity of cannabis worth seventy pounds. They commented that they could only assume the Met were paying at least twice what everyone else was for dope.

I caught the tail end of a discussion on suicide bombing. Two things occurred to me. The first is the sheer lunacy off it and the second  a more practical consideration. How do they train suicide bombers? I have this image in my mind of a cave full of bearded Arabs sitting in rows with the instructor at the front. He’ll have finished the theory and now moves on to a demonstration………..” Now all pay attention! You sure you’re all awake! LISTEN UP NOW!. I’m going to show you this once and ONLY ONCE!”

That’s all for today…..enjoy the weather.

I don’t often do this but I’ve just seen some fantastic images go to CLAUDIA. See what she has found.

That’s definitely all for today.


Friday 28 September 2012

ALL IS OKAY. (28/09/12)

I had a trip into town yesterday so here is this weeks Market Hall.

P9274139_40_41_42_43_tonemapped2_edited-1 I should have spent a bit more time on this but my graphics tablet is acting up. I’ll have to dig the software out and reload it. If that doesn’t work I’ll give the pen a good clean….some honey ran off my toast the other day and I suspect it has had a detrimental effect. Thought honey was supposed to be efficacious. Possibly not for graphics pens. This is HDR and colour popped. I had to gray scale it as some daft beggar dumped a big orange tent behind the statue of Mr Pease. He is also looking the wrong way but not to worry.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA    The water levels are dropping at long last. It is not yet a week since the storm but it seems longer.

Just one from this morning……

P9284144_5_6_7_8_tonemapped_edited-1     It was windy but looks to be set fair for the day.

Have a good weekend.

Wednesday 26 September 2012

ALL IS WELL. (26/09/12)

The rain stopped raining at around midnight…..the day started well, welling with water. It’s still awful damp but the sun is out. I hope all the people with proper houses further down the Tees are insured. Nobody drowned or got their tits out so no front page coverage in the Telegraph.

Yesterday I mentioned that we could have had three feet of rain……I’m mad, Take everything I say with a large pinch of salt. I was trying to give a personal impression of how it felt. Two to three inches would be more accurate.

I have two or three weather sites running….Weather used to be important when I was working at sea….In retrospect I don’t know why I bothered or continue to bother. Bugger all one can do about it, on land or at sea. A law unto itself is weather. I’m still scrolling through the sites to find out how much water we had. I suspect I have to pay for rain gauge information.

  I also hope that before a new Thames Barrier is financed they give priority to all the plebeians that live in the North.

I am a Daily Telegraph reader. Page four it is before the inundated folk of the North  get a mention. I used to read the Guardian but found the cryptic crossword solvable. So switched to the Telegraph some twenty years ago. On a good week I finish it twice. I enjoy the challenge, okay I’m also a bit thick.!

The Telegraph used to have good sports coverage…..I have realised that niche sport reportage is now a thing of the past in the Telegraph. So from tomorrow it’s back to the Grauniad for me. Awful spelling and not broad sheet but I’ll retromorphise……..I’ll get uesd to the canhge. PHIL  writes all about things living in it so it can’t be taht bad.

I had to go for another shop today……..Have I got Alzheimer's?  No!  I remembered the question mark. Forgot some messages yesterday though. That’s not dementia unless all politicians have it. There was no rush  so I conducted myself with decorum in the store. Didn’t cause a fuss or mess up the auto checkout…… I went through a regular till. Didn’t call the check out girl a F…ing pleb. Good as gold I was.

Please Dithery can I have a job with you? If I mess it up I get mega bucks for life…..be great for me….and prove you are into expanding society. I am also aware that it’s naughty and counter productive to swear at Busies…..they hit one….hard!… It takes an haristocrat to swear at a man in body armour carrying a big stick…….or an idiot,  I’m only a bit daft…

What’s the difference between a policeman’s truncheon and a magician’s wand?

The latter is for Cunning Stunts!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   An upside down triptych of the sun. I made a bit of an effort to welcome it back….Arty Farty or what?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA    The dogs run through every bit of flood water. Covered in sh…..water they are.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA      The camera finds some colour……it also found some blow out. I always bracket with digital but unfortunately not this time.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   The trailers are safe.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Water everywhere. The building in the background is Cleveland Bridge and Engineering. They have built lots of posh bridges all over the world…..a wonderful company for both purchasers and users of bridges. They guarantee to keep your feet dry.

I hope you are all well and not too damp.


Tuesday 25 September 2012

TRULY BLESSED. (25/09/12)

The rain still continues. I’m fast running out of dry clothes. I have decided I’m perverse, I enjoy extreme weather. I’m not sure how much rain has fallen but it is a great deal…..I’ll guess a good foot, maybe more, possibly a full yard.

I was out at the back of seven, the dogs were insistent. The wind had dropped but it was still pouring. I got back and scratched a breakfast together….porridge made with water, black coffee and a banana that was long past it’s eat by date. I had run out of milk, tobacco, bread, tobacco, butter, tobacco, bananas and tobacco.

Around nine fifteen the rain stopped. I’d used all my tobacco, did I mention I hadn’t had a smoke for twelve hours? I decided to risk it. The going was, what horse racing aficionados describe as, heavy. The round trip takes an hour and a half…..I was like greased lightning in the supermarket, my wellies fighting for traction, arms akimbo for balance and the basket clattering off the shelves at the end of every isle. To further expedite the job I decided to use the self checkout. As usual I buggered up the machine and had to wait five minutes for the young lady to come and sort it all out. I wasted a further couple of minutes chatting to this angel of mercy and then went to customer services to get a paper and the damn tobacco.Great, only one old dear in front of me. As always seems to be the case when I’m rushing the daft old bat was checking a bag full of lottery tickets. Another ten minutes gone. Out I scuttled, untied the dogs and we set off back. Twenty yards from home the heavens opened…….blessed I am. God rewards the righteous and conversely….. the devil  looks after his own.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   The view from the van. The water creeps nearer. Alfie has a jacket for such days as his coat is a bit sparse and he feels the cold.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   The road to the shops. This is the nadir of our route and proved easily fordable.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   These fields have just been drilled. I’ll keep out of the farmers way. I suspect he is not going to be a happy little farmer.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   It is a devastating picture……hopefully things will dry out and allow these areas to be re seeded.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   Water comes from above and from below. all in all it’s very exciting.

Anyone remember the drought?

In my haste I forgot loads of things whilst provisioning so will have to go again tomorrow.

That’s all for today. Keep safe and keep dry.

Monday 24 September 2012

UNDERWHELMED. (24/09/12)

Yesterday dawned misty and cool. It promised to be the last fine day for a while. The forecasters were right, it is heaving with wind and blasting with rain this morning and forecast to get worse.

The early news on the radio mainly consists of a rehashing of yesterdays news. Only a few new items of interest.

A school teacher has run away to France with a fifteen year old girl . They didn’t say whether he is a French teacher or a teacher of French. It’s absolutely disgusting, whatever he is or what subject he teaches, it’s term time and he should be at work! He has a good twelve weeks a year to wander around the continent with young girls. I hope they give him a severe reprimand.

Vince Cable has announced a new bank to lend money to small business. Mad as a box of frogs are politicians, we already have a nationalised bank and a controlling interest in another. Why in the name of hades do we need more bankers?……What we need are a government that can manage the banks and bankers we have.

A couple of miles up the road there lies a new woodland nature reserve. New! The trees are about three feet tall. It will be great in fifteen years. I forgot to take any pictures of the saplings. I’ll nip back when the autumn colour starts to show. I’ll go back with a macro lens and a magnifying glass.

P9234093_4_5_6_7_fused_edited-1  Early morning mist yesterday.

P9234108_09_10_11_12_fused_edited-1  This is the track bed of the Stockton to Darlington railway….The first passenger carrying railway in the world. I don’t want any argument from Liverpudlians. It runs alongside South Burdon Wood. South Burdon Woodlet would be more accurate.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAKidney Vetch…..This provided a bright spot in a dull day.

That’s all and have a good week.

Saturday 22 September 2012


It’s been a very sad week in the UK. Two policewomen murdered by some headbanger who should have been locked up years ago.

Two policemen berated and insulted by Andrew Mitchell in Downing Street. He referred to them as F…ing plebs. For a public school and Cambridge university educated member of parliament this is inexcusable.The word is plebeian. I don’t recall the adjective in Latin but it will be copulatio or something along those lines. Hopefully he will resign before he brings further discredit on our nation. If we can’t rely upon the products of the cream of our educational establishments what chance have those educated in the state sector got.

Anyone enjoy anagrams? Ponder on this…..’Naked tit model’. Answer at the end.

Now a few snaps for the weekend.


pan12109   The sky yesterday evening looking east and west respectively.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   It’s the equinox and the first frost.


P9224083_4_5_6_7_tonemapped_edited-1 It’s a superb if chilly day. We had a pleasant first wander across the fields.

P9224088_89_90_91_92_tonemapped_edited-1 The dogs think they are invisible……the attraction in this meadow is mice. Trying to get them out of here is a twenty minute job. They always come as soon as I whistle as long as they don’t have anything better to do.

Have fun and wish Jensen Button a good run in the Grand Prix tomorrow.

Answer; Kate Middleton.

Friday 21 September 2012

ELDERS. (21/09/12)

Just a quick post today as we are off out.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA The rain has stopped, these are the last drops resting on clover.



OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Elder leaves…..I must wander round with my eyes shut. I’ve never noticed them turning red in autumn before.

P9193968_69_70_71_72_tonemapped_edited-1   Teasels processed whilst waiting for the rain to stop.

Have a good weekend.

Thursday 20 September 2012

A NEW TOY. (20/09/12)

It was a cool start to the day but not a cloud in the sky…..wonderful. Today is dull and damp. No fun at all.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA First light.

P9193998_3999_4000_4001_4002_tonemapped_edited-1 Last light.

I spent a few hours yesterday fighting with Google. It all started when I noticed that a fellow blogger was inserting hyperlinks into his comments. Now this can be done using HTML code but it’s time consuming and a pain.  That is a rigmarole that is consigned to history thanks to Mark. If you go here COMMENT FORMATTING you can quickly and painlessly have a miniature tool bar above comment boxes. Like this………………………

image    It works fine in both Chrome and Firefox browsers. It wouldn’t load in Chrome until Mark sorted the job for me. That is Google making life awkward. Little tinkers.

Have a go with it. It can do no harm and is a small enhancement to the blogging experience. It doesn’t magnify the comments box…..I did that on the screen grab.

Have fun and thanks again Mark. All my images enlarge with a click, that is also down to Mark.

Any problems then just ask…..it seems fool proof but we’ve all heard that before.

Tuesday 18 September 2012

ALL QUIET. (18/09/12)

It’s been a very quiet couple of days. The weather is pretty good. It does rain but for the most part it’s dry and sunny. I’ve been offered an Ebony large format camera. The idea appeals. It’s not a monster 5x4 so would take a roll film back…….Since the demise of speedloader film I couldn’t be faffed with loading sheet holders. I did check, Horseman roll film backs are over seven hundred pounds. Come on Camelot give me a lottery win. I promise I’ll buy a ticket if it wins. it would certainly concentrate the mind, none of my just blitzing away at stuff. Every shot would have to be recorded so as to tell the lab whether to push or pull the development process. Not much good for birding but then I'm not much good at birding so that isn’t a problem.

P9173923_4_5_6_7_tonemapped_edited-1I had a trip to the bank yesterday, the clock tower on the market hall is a magnet for my camera. I would think twice with large format about three pounds a pop that would cost plus printing. I’ll have to enquire into the feasibility of a wander up it.

P9183932_3_4_5_6_tonemapped_edited-1  The dogs with help from the farm terrier caught a rat here on Sunday. They are forever hopeful of a repeat of the entertainment.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   The van basking in the sunshine.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA    It is very windy. I’ll have to get out on a good walk tomorrow as Thursday is forecast to be horrendous.

securedownload (3)         I’ll leave you with this.

Have fun.

Sunday 16 September 2012


The title is a Malapropism and was inspired by reading this from SCRIPTOR SENNEX. 

I started this post yesterday but what with one thing and another, idleness, sunshine and rounding up horse escapees, then preventing them going AWOL every time the children collected a pony or returned one I didn’t get very far, it’s been the story of my week. Busy with precious little to show for it.

I did finish the crossword yesterday. I then threw the paper away. The Duchess of Cambridge is starting to get on my tits. Flashing her boobs one day and her knees in a Mosque the next, she didn’t object to the later photograph. Little hussy! There have got to be more important things to report than the doings of arrogant hoorays.

Our parliament has got to vacate the Palace of Westminster for a couple of years. It needs rebuilding. That should provide a job or two……twice as many if they employ cowboy builders for phase one. Polite suggestions as to where they can go would be appreciated. I was thinking of Kabul but the Afghanis have enough troubles of their own without inflicting that shower on them.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA  The horses back where they belong.

I have been pondering the automatic camera trigger and have found all I need from intelligent and generous open source sauces, I mean sources. Thank you one and all. Some of my musings have been productive others less so. I started to worry about connecting, anything I’ve wired up, to a camera with a physical link. I spent ages devising the following……I had a toilet roll an LED and a photo resistor. Actually rigged it all up and yes it works. It would have to be a hundredth of the size but it worked. I then found one. They look like this……………..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Four or five hours of messing over four days and they are easily available……the price £0.26p each. That sort of money I could buy two in case one was faulty. You could get at least a couple of hundred in a toilet roll.

image  My Fritzing is coming on…..I can now make the wires bendy I should have bent the left hand earth wire a bit more though. This is the lightning sensor bit. I intend to build a lightning trigger, intervaltrigger and a sound trigger all into one wee box. A chap called MAURICE RIBBLE has done all the hard work. No more reinventing the toilet roll for me! Thank you Mr Ribble.

The mechanical side I have half sorted. The light sensor can be mounted on a spare camera eyepiece so it looks through the lens. The sound trigger…..I’m thinking of a mobile phone mic. could be popped alongside it. Then with camera set to manual all I have to do is get the Arduino to short out the positive remote input to ground and the shutter will fire. A switch on the box to select the required function and Bobs your uncle.

The electronics will all go in a waterproof box and clip to a tripod leg. It would be good to get rid of the potentiometer….waterproof rotary switches are or used to be a Princess’s ransom. There will be three circuits in this box plus a battery and the Arduino. I’m thinking fag packet not shoe box so PCBs are something to be investigated this next week. I’ll have to be very circumspect here as I like big buttons so that leaves very little room for the works.

I’m also starting to understand this code malarkey….I write it out longhand and it seems to be sinking in. I’m still pinching it from all over. This is Mr Ribble’s.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Don’t copy this go to glacialwanderer.com I know this won’t work as I snapped the scribble with at least a couple of mistakes in it. This is very simple as it is only looking for sudden changes in light value. Being a bit simple myself, I like very simple.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA It’s generally peaceful here. This is the last of the light yesterday.

Have a good week.

Friday 14 September 2012

BALES. (14/09/12)

It’s a very windy day. It’s only raining now and again. I was out early and should have stopped out.

‘The Royals’ have had a bad day and so have I. I have had to switch the radio off. The Duchess of Cambridge upset by the pictures of her brother-in-law sans his clothes has got in on the act. At first I thought Wowee! Then I heard from her husband that it was grotesque. Not a very nice thing to say about his wife’. I suspect they are going to need help if the Windsor line is going to continue.

Enough……….. here are todays bales.

P9143897_898_899_900_901_tonemapped2_edited-1   Bales and Hogweed.

P9143887_88_89_90_91_tonemapped_edited-1                Bales and Tree.


P9143892_3_4_5_6_tonemapped_edited-1 Just Bales.

Have a great weekend…….Have fun but try and keep your clothes on.

Wednesday 12 September 2012

DAWN TILL DUSK. (12/09/12)

It is much colder today. It’s much wetter but only in patches. I decided that rather than get wet I'd have a day off from snapping. I then remembered that the dogs still need walking. I got wet….. twice!P9123807_08_09_10_11_tonemapped_edited-1  Dawn.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERANoon……the horse with her bum to the driving rain is called Zoe. This is cropped.

P9123822_3_4_5_6_tonemapped_edited-1 Tea time and the sun is out.

P9123827_28_29_30_31_tonemapped_edited-1  Our last wander of the day. Crepuscular rays and sheep.

mortonpan Almost dusk…..this is a stitched panorama.

At long last whilst I’m freezing to death the sun called it a day………

P9123877_78_79_80_81_tonemapped_edited-1 That’s all for today. It turned out to be a good day.