I live in a camper van with a West Highland Terrier for company.
My passion is creating images but it is a work in progress.
I am always willing to share what knowledge I have and can be contacted through the comments on this post or e-mail ADRIAN

Thursday 3 January 2013

I DIDN’T BELIEF IT. (03/01/13)

I was awake this morning at two. Alf had a poorly tummy and was sick on my pillow. Could have been a lot worse, he could have been sick in my ear. He comes for a cuddle if he feels poorly.

I dropped the van off at the garage at half seven. Took some getting there. It was smoking like the devil. No power at all. A Second World War destroyer would have been proud of the smoke we created.

At just the the back of eight my brother collected the dogs and me and off we went back up the hill. My smoke screen was still lingering an hour later.

His Landrover needed a new windscreen so a coffee and a failed crossword later off we set for Sheffield.

The screen people are just across the road and the river Don from a humongous shopping mall. He had to return something to a shop called TKMIX. Find the bloody place, could we hell! …Took us ages. We did pass lots of Costa Coffees. There was one every five shops which doesn’t help with navigation. I was getting fed up…Mightily pissed off to be honest.

Eventually he said I wish I’d got the APP for this place….apparently the APP takes one straight to ones destination. I don’t do APPs, well I don’t think I do. These things creep up on one, apps must be a bit like cannabis.

Everyone in the world that sells a mobile phone are here….almost as regularly as Costa! I have an old Nokia that has to remain plugged in. I suspect after six years it’s battery is not in the first flush of youth. It is possible that it’s just the newness wearing off. I am on T Mobile. Could I find a T Mobile shop? Could I hell as like so went into Hutchinsons emporium……sorry 3GGS’S. These folk change their names faster than a lady changes knickers. I asked. Do you know where T Mobile are? We can sell you a phone sir……I don’t want to buy a phone I want to return one as not fit for purpose. Quick as a flash he said they are called EEEEE now.  Well Bugger Meeee! They were but two doors away. They are now called ‘EE’. Just to help if you find yourself in a similar predicament.

It’s a long job buying a phone. I asked for a Nokia….he said we have a promotion on Samsung. I said, no good to me. It took me a year to swap from Motorola to Nokia and there is not a cat in hells chance of my going through that grief again. He said would you prefer the new 4G or a 3G….I said I’d like one with a dial for old times sake.

He got fed up but I got a new phone for £11.99p.  Well £12.00p because the daft bugger didn’t have a penny for the change…..I did think when he introduced himself he was a penny short of a full shilling…..I was correct!

My brother suggested lunch whilst we awere awaiting for his awindscreen. (He expresses himself like that in posh shopping places).

The food bit is on two floors….amazing it is. Macdonalds, Pizza Express and Man Friday and Girl Saturday and a dozen others are downstairs all for the really fat folk. Homemade Burger and Sushi and Pilaterers salads and dozens of others are up the escalator. We settled for a posh burger. Even had proper cheese in it and proper red onion chutney in it and delivered by a lass who was the possessor of what must be the finest arse in Sheffield…She even said. Anything else I can do for you guys. My little brother gave me a kick. I thought I’d scored but kept quiet. Still think I’d trapped one!  I should bloody hope so too! I can do a weekly shop for what a couple of those burgers cost. Lord alone what a couple of hers would cost? Good burger though and the burger lasted longer than I could have done with her.

It was time to pick the Landrover up…….There is a God after all. Like hell on earth that place was. The burger, arse and the waitresses' couple withstanding.

The garage phoned and informed me the camper was ready. Just the intercooler pipe. No big deal! On the way home we called at Harrison Cameras. I had a few more bits to pick up.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA This is my landscape lens…..It’s old but fine. I would have preferred a prime 35mm but this was fast and reasonable. Because it’s fast it has a massive 77mm front orifice and none of my filters will fit. So I’d ordered a basic Cokin set of grads and a hefty four stop grey, all in extra, extra large. The observant among you will have noticed a 2x teleconverter. Going begging it was! How do people keep gear this clean? It’s more sparkling bright than when Canon dispatched it. I’m going to keep my tackle clean.

I am delighted that I have now got all I need. There is a drop in polariser still on it’s way from Japan for Big Bertha. The gimballed head is here…..I tried a few and the Benro GH2 was the best for the money. Whilst we were in the shop they managed to unload a prime 50mm onto my brother. They don’t miss a trick in that shop. Hard to resist. They do it so nicely.

I used to live the high life till I realized the camera shop was there. I used to enjoy milk on my porridge. Cream and Maple syrup on high days and holidays. I’ll be thinner than a Biafran. Getting food parcels from Oxfam…that will be me.

We are at Chatsworth for a couple of nights then away back to Stockton to get the vans shower pump sorted.

Next week, Scotland here we come. Via B&Q for an all terrain sack barrow. Hopefully with a wee electric motor. I’ve seen, the fish annoyers have just the thing. I must ask one where they get them…..Waste of time that would be…..All I'd get would be Hurrrm! Gurrrm! Urrrm! I’ll ask the wife her gorrit us.

If anyone wants some mega studio tripods then Harrison have a few at about a hundred pounds each…money and weight. A pound a pound they are selling them for. That is a real bargain if one can lift them!

Enjoy the next nine days of Christmas.


  1. I didn't understand most of this... but I did enjoy it! Although I must say I'm feeling quite tired now, so I think I'll have a lie-down.

    1. Tired....till you have been as busy as I have today...and stressed...and excited...You don't know the meaning of tired.
      Perhaps a short lie down with a slice of cucumber upon each eye would suffice.
      A thin slice though....price of cucumbers being what they are these days.

  2. The kits almost complete then Adrian?...just need the Donkey now!!

    It's good to know that your going to keep your tackle clean, that way it should always be ready for action should you need it in a hurry!!

    Looking forward to seeing some stunning shots of the Scottish scenery!...[;o)

    1. Trevor, yes I'm almost there. I need the lass out of Fresh as a Daisy Burgers or whatever they are called. I could chase her up a hill or two.
      I really don't clean lenses that often. Prefer to remove the odd blobs in processing. It's Oh so easy to scratch them whilst giving them a rub with a twice used hanky. Specially in hot weather when boggies dry fast.
      I wouldn't hold your breath. Bet it pees down. Shooting rain is an art all of it's own. Not sure that Canon are up to that much watertightness.

  3. You poor thing, sick on your pillow, yuk. I think that its time to spend a few quid on a tripod, thanks Adrian.

    1. Not nice Bob but better than having a baby human. Shitty nappies and the mother discussing baby turds with her mates.
      These tripods are Monstrous, Humongous, Enormousness things the sort of thing that supports proper tackle.

  4. Glad you got a few extra pieces for your Camera kit. Can't wait to see some of your photos from your New Canon, I mean landscapes.

    1. Horst, I just snap away. I'm not a professional I don't blitz fifty frames for one.
      The Canon is okay. So far. I know why it has two Ons and an Off. It's to stop me twiddling the big wheel at the back.....BY AKCIDENT.
      Olympus were more intuitive to me with a finger wheel and a thumb wheel. No wee joystick thingy either. It's like trying to fly a Eurofighter blind fold. I just wish they had a tilt back screen for live few focussing.
      Oly did, their lenses were few but good, build quality was brilliant but at the end of the day they were not interested in supporting SLR.

  5. Now Adrian , you'll never be finished with messing with cameras. You can't help yourself. You'll always be looking for more. Along the way you take some awesome pictures.

  6. A great read Adrian to start my day.
    I had a card from EE telling me they are my new something or other. Can't remember now, I binned it. Hate junk mail. Good to hear you are going to keep your tackle clean; could be some more good burger emporiums in Scotland.
    Hope Alf is better now.
    And .. do you have a new mobile number now?

    1. Alf is fine now....He will have eaten something even more revolting than usual

  7. Wow you're braver than I venturing into Meadowhall at this time of year. I went past on the train yesterday on the way home from work and the platforms were all packed with spotty teenagers so I hate to imagine what the inside was like.

    1. I have always managed to avoid the place. It is truly terrible in there.

  8. I have no idea how I've managed to miss this post. I'm convinced that our time differences and the times that Blogger uses to repopulate the Dashboard following list have something to do with it. I once saw a sign for the Metro Centre somewhere in the Newcastle area I think. I turned the other direction and, like Little Jack Horner (or was it Dr Foster?), I never went there again.

    You are obviously starting off the New Year in fine blogging form.