I got really excited when the EU referendum was announced. I foolishly thought it would reduce the number of sponging, troughing, autocrats, bureaucrats and other overpaid useless busybodies. It’s not going to happen. I think people are just too frightened of the dire consequences. The UK drifting helplessly out into mid Atlantic with no food and nothing to drink but Jaffa Juice produced in Palestine. The MEPs coming back here, The Royal family going back there. Terrorists garbed in explosives sharing a glass of orange in the pubs, Dithery Dave and Lizard Eyed Osborne telling the truth. The Northern Irish having to chisel off the six counties so they can follow us. They won’t have EU money to keep them in drink so will start blowing everybody up and shouting “Feck” again. Nostalgia is wonderful, bring back the old days.
The good news is that very soon we smokers will have really interesting tobacco packets. I’ve seen a few samples. There’s a man with green teeth, someone else with funny eyes (I think that is George Osborne), a lady with only four and a bit toes, a bloke with wrinkly hands, a few damaged sperm, a baby with three eyes and five arms. Sounds great, it will be like the old days ……I’ll swap you two green toothed ones for a dead sperm and a wrinkly forehead. I think when you have the set you can send Jeremy Hunt a fiver and he will post you an album to pop them in. Government can’t work out the simplest of things. The NHS is billions in the red and the tax on tobacco pays for most of it. Tesco know if they want to sell more stuff they have to reduce the price. It’s a win win. Folk die earlier and don’t clutter up hospitals, hence hospitals can be smaller and cost less to run, where is the problem?
If we manage to leave the EU we could have our own offshore banks so that our MPs don’t have to keep flying to the Caribbean to use an ATM. Good for them, good for the environment.
There isn’t much about to snap, it’s dry but cold. Not insect weather.
RED CAMPION.
COLTSFOOT
LILAC.
APPLE BLOSSOM.
THE NEW CATTLE.
I think most of them are there, some are round the corner out of sight and had they got into the Barley then I’m pretty sure someone would have been here moaning. Scots are really good at moaning, nothing they like more.
Have fun.
The good news is that very soon we smokers will have really interesting tobacco packets. I’ve seen a few samples. There’s a man with green teeth, someone else with funny eyes (I think that is George Osborne), a lady with only four and a bit toes, a bloke with wrinkly hands, a few damaged sperm, a baby with three eyes and five arms. Sounds great, it will be like the old days ……I’ll swap you two green toothed ones for a dead sperm and a wrinkly forehead. I think when you have the set you can send Jeremy Hunt a fiver and he will post you an album to pop them in. Government can’t work out the simplest of things. The NHS is billions in the red and the tax on tobacco pays for most of it. Tesco know if they want to sell more stuff they have to reduce the price. It’s a win win. Folk die earlier and don’t clutter up hospitals, hence hospitals can be smaller and cost less to run, where is the problem?
If we manage to leave the EU we could have our own offshore banks so that our MPs don’t have to keep flying to the Caribbean to use an ATM. Good for them, good for the environment.
There isn’t much about to snap, it’s dry but cold. Not insect weather.
RED CAMPION.
COLTSFOOT
LILAC.
APPLE BLOSSOM.
THE NEW CATTLE.
I think most of them are there, some are round the corner out of sight and had they got into the Barley then I’m pretty sure someone would have been here moaning. Scots are really good at moaning, nothing they like more.
Have fun.
It will be a close vote? Beautiful photos!
ReplyDeleteMarie, I suspect the vote will be irrelevant. We currently have at least three enquiries over malpractice from the last election and that was over a year ago. I think it was Stalin said that the voters aren't important but those that count the votes most certainly are.
DeleteCan't wait for the games of top trumps to start again just using ciggy packets rather than cards.
ReplyDeleteReckon they should put my grandmother on a packet, died at the age of 100,smoked for eighty years and right up to the end 30+ a day.
Douglas, it will certainly add a bit of interest. It will be interesting to see which ones are the most popular. Perhaps they will have a sort of Turner prize or BAFTA do for the packets.
DeleteFirst class rant, Adrian. The funny pictures on cig packets came in here while I was still smoking. One day my g-daughter was with me when I was buying my supplies and asked the shop assistant to change the image of the rotten teeth for the warning about what would happen if I were pregnant. She was chuckling for ages about her granny being pregnant. Somehow I don't think the warning had any impact. I like the image of the cattle and the gently rolling countryside. It looks very civilised for cattle country.
ReplyDeletePauline, It will have zero impact, it may increase sales. Listen to me I'm starting to qualify remarks with 'May'. Next thing you know I'll be a politician. I can see young girls asking for the ones that damage sperm and the green teeth one being a massive hit for Halloween. I bet they run out of the teeth one and folk will have to make do with the funny eyes packet.
DeleteThe cow field is far from civilised. it is up hill and down and runs for a mile up the south side of the glen. Difficult to see where they are. In a few days they will settle and I'll only have to check now and again.
Were you born such a grumpy old sod or is it something you've worked hard at (like all the brilliant hard work with your animations?).
ReplyDeleteGraham, I have had to work at it. It's not easy being a grumpy idiot, ask George Brown if you see him.
DeleteI have another rant all lined up, just thought you'd be pleased to read I haven't got writers block. I could do with a proof reader. I have tried doing it myself since Google now take four or five hours to make my art available but it is impossible.
I'm a political agnostic, Adrian - or at least that's all I'll admit to in public! Found your rant very amusing, however.
ReplyDeleteGreat macro work - can't wait for you to find some insects to apply it to!
I hope you find some soon (other than midges!) - - - Richard
Richard, I can't rake up anything but derision for any of them.
DeleteThere are a few St Mark's flies about so the rest shouldn't be far behind.
The coltsfoot picture is marvellous. I am already looking forward to your midge photos - clouds of them - millions in each cubic metre. One of Nature's miracles. I wonder what you did that was so bad for you have been in exile in Scotland for such a long time now. Was it to do with the nasty things you keep saying about Gideon Lizard and Dithery Dave?
ReplyDeleteYP, the midges aren't a problem here.
DeleteI like Scotland and as I get older can't be bothered moving far.
I doubt any politicians will take any notice of anyone unless they start putting them out of their misery. A bit of selective culling wouldn't go amiss, what's good for the Badger is good for MPs.
The Red Campion turned out really well.
ReplyDeleteAs for many of our slimy MPs - they have too much to lose if we leave the EU with all its unelected positions for failed politicians who are unwanted in real jobs where they would have to show some competence and experience in actually working for a living.
John, I am afraid that is the case and on top of that there are too many instances of electoral fraud coming to light for me to have much faith in the system.
Delete