I live in a camper van with a West Highland Terrier for company.
My passion is creating images but it is a work in progress.
I am always willing to share what knowledge I have and can be contacted through the comments on this post or e-mail ADRIAN

Wednesday 23 November 2011

AM I OR AREN’T I? (23/11/11)

I suffered a bit of a set back ten years ago. I had a contretemps with a helicopter. I’m trying to draw my pension early. Dithery David has other ideas. Surely there is a job I can do. Yes there is. I could become a useless drain on the state like him. Smuggy pants.

 OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThese are the two gentlemen running Little Britain. Who voted for them……..no one, they just assumed power. This picture is from yesterdays Daily Telegraph so I assume it is the best they could find. For two people who have endless money…. and safety boots I would have preferred to see a bit of dignity. What is Ditheries hand  doing in his pocket? One shouldn’t play with the crown jewels on a photo shoot, no matter how attractive the photographers are. You should also set an example to we mere mortals and wear an ‘ard hat. I know it makes you look silly but you have done that without the ‘at!

A feast was yesterdays paper.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA    So is mine…………I have to do it on my own. He has the help of over paid experts.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAMichael Deacon says it better than I ever could. He’s a proper scribe. Dithery possibly found his bazooka again in the first photo! Maybe he was still looking for it! I suspect that he is mixing metaphors………Silver spoon? Or does he still watch the Lone Ranger for inspiration? I suspect the confederation had sussed he was back unless they were in Berlin. Silly boy. I thought he wrote this crap himself……No, he employs, or we do, equally daft folk to do it for him. Happen it’s getting letters in the right order confuses him!

Yesterday I went for my medical……………..I’m not well. I put a pebble in my left shoe to make me limp. Shouldn’t have bothered. The harridan that conducted it could have been Quasimodo's mother I was limp enough.

This morning I had a visit from a lovely lady from Little England Pensions. She checked my bank accounts, my passport, my driving licenses ( I do have two, an Irish one and a Little England one). Called belt and braces, if I should be unlucky enough to lose one then I can drive on the other. She seemed very pleased. she could verify with my help that I’m poor……….thank the lord for online banking. David……….I said Banking. Not what you were donging…………doing I mean.

This took some believing……….They are back dating my pension to July. The final decision will rest with some wonderful person in Dundee…….Dundee is in Scotland …Home of Jute and Marmalade………a foreign country!….I’m really worried.

I’ve heard of out sourcing but David: most competent companies out source to India. Not bloody Scotland. Our sworn enemies.

I’ll let you know how I get on and normal service should be resumed tomorrow.

Have fun.


  1. Brilliant scribing, it kinda makes me larf!!!!!!!

  2. A fine rant Adrian.
    Good luck with the pension saga.

  3. You appear to have expressed my sentiments exactly!

    Fingers crossed that all goes smoothly.

  4. A great rant Adrian... hope to see you soon.
    Andrew.... born from pure Scottish stock.

  5. Hi Adrian...not knowing exactly what this is all about leaves to only say "I do hope this was a good way to get it out ..I know this is a serious matter to you , but I hope you will forgive me if I had some chuckles reading this!! ; }

    I'll tune in tomorrow to see what's going on in Adrians world! : }


  6. Yes, Dundee is very worrying, home and location of collapsing structures and things that come second best !!!
    In the publishing industry, I hope that the Pie of Desperate Dan is full of meat and Oor Wullies bucket doesn't have any holes or leaks !!

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  8. I always thought that England was the sworn enemy of Scotland not the other way around.

  9. Sorry I've been so lax......You lot so kindly comment so deserve a reply. I've not been well but that, whilst an excuse, is no excuse. Sorry!

    Bob, Is that Scribing or scribbling. No matter if you had a laugh.

    Keith, thanks but if I get a negative response then watch out for the next blast.

    John, I'm a cripple so it has to go smoothly. I hope.

    Andrew, don't fret. Scots live there so someone has to be bred from them. It's the way of things.

    Grace, it is still in........I am fine I just share selected bits of my life to show that not all is a bed of roses.

    Jay, that has really cheered me up. I bet the clowns that used to write the Beano are about to decide my future.

    Graham, I am right. You are educated but are mistaken, at least where I am concerned. I am so chauvinistic that people living five miles away from my birth place are extremely suspect.

  10. Wish you good luck with the pension. Brings back memories of my own struggles some years back, I was 'lucky' though and was granted mine just before they tightened the reins (or belt, or both) here.

  11. Monica, Thanks. I'll need more than luck I suspect.